The Fablieaux

Man Locked Up Once Again After Police Said He Stole A ‘prisoner’ T-shirt From Fresno Jail

A 20-year-old man was locked up once again after being charged with stealing his prisoner T-shirt from a previous stint at the Fresno County Jail. The man was arrested last week on suspicion of child abuse and possession of marijuana. After he was released from jail last Thursday, police said he nearly caused a collision while riding his bike.

Deputies then noticed that he was wearing a T-shirt with “prisoner” printed on the back. Police said the shirt was from the jail and he had concealed it under his clothing when he was released.

Fred Thieser told The Fablieaux, “I had that shirt from San Quentin. The rule is that if you don’t get caught stealing it from the first jail, its yours.” He continued, asserting that “Kids today where these all the time. You gonna lock up any kid with a prison T-shirt on? What’s next? Let everyone into the FBI with one of those caps on? That’s racist, man”.

Thieser was then sent back to jail and booked on felony charges of receiving stolen property.

A father was accused of using a dog shock collar on his four children. Salem, Oregon Police Lt. Dave Okasa said the 41-year-old man was jailed Tuesday on charges of criminal mistreatment. He said the father acknowledged putting the electronic dog collar on his four children and shocking all of them at least once each time they misbehaved.

“Well, at first I didn’t realize they were shock collars. I just thought they were acting out what they see on TV. Thinking back, it explains why they never left the yard.”, admitted Jack Nievens, “Just the same, you’d better not look in the basement.”

According to Okasa, the father didn’t do it as a punishment. Rather, he thought it was routine. “My parents leashed me, as did theirs before them. Don’t you want to hear about the retractable leashes?”

The children, all younger than 10, are in the custody of their mother. The case has been referred to state Department of Human Services.

Police arrested a 29-year-old man on car theft charges at a church in Norwich, CT on Sunday, the same church Police Capt. Timothy Menard attends regularly. Menard told the Norwich Bulletin that it seemed like every time the suspect needed gas, he stole a new car.

“You mean these cars belong to someone?” a visibly confused Daniel Riosan told The Fablieux , “Some guy at the dealership told me it was all part of the new Transportation Plan“.

Police said the suspect went from one car dealership to another to steal cars and had left the church pastor’s contact card at a Plainfield dealership before stealing a car from there. Pastor Bernard, of the Norwich Diocese, admitted “Yes. We did have a theme this month of the Lord ‘Helping Those Who Help Themselves’, but we didn’t expect anyone to take us literally. We certainly didn’t expect our calling to card to be left at each scene of the crime either. I think we must bear some of the responsibility, here.”

Menard said the pastor of Norwich Alliance Church alerted him to the suspect’s presence. Menard cuffed the suspect and walked him out. Police said that they found a Honda Civic stolen Friday from a Groton, CT dealer in the church parking lot.

Riosan summed things up, saying “I see this as a victimless crime. When you think about it, it all makes sense. If you need a car, you just take one from where you are, and leave it when you get to your destination. I’m just sorry I got caught up in the hoax.”

A German court fined an unemployed man 900 euros ($1,227) Tuesday for knocking the head off a waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler in a Berlin museum.

Minutes after the Madame Tussauds museum opened in the German capital in July, the 42-year-old pushed past security staff and ripped off its head. The man, an ex-policeman, said he found it inexplicable that the Nazi leader would be found only some 500 meters from Berlin’s Holocaust memorial. The man appeared perplexed when he discovered the wax likeness was not Hitler himself.

The waxwork of a glum-looking Hitler in a mock bunker stirred debate in Germany even before it went on display. Critics argued it was tasteless to display a replica of the man who unleashed World War Two and ordered the extermination of Europe’s Jews.

Madame Tussauds said the museum avoided politics, arguing Hitler stood for a significant part of German history and his waxwork therefore had a legitimate part in the exhibition.

The restored figure was returned to the museum in September and is now displayed behind a glass wall.

About 25 workers spent about four months on the original waxwork, using more than 2,000 pictures and pieces of archive material (like that shown here) and also guided by a model of the “Fuehrer” in the London branch of Madame Tussauds.

“Titanic” stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet and the film’s director James Cameron have responded to a challenge and donated $30,000 to support the last survivor of the Titanic in her last years, a representative for DiCaprio said Monday.

“We’re extremely thankful that there is only one survivor left.” DiCaprio’s spokesperson Diane Truseau commented, “Could you imagine how little each person would get f we had to split it between 2,200?”.

The survivor, 97-year-old Millvina Dean, has reportedly resorted to selling her autograph to pay her nursing home bills in Southampton, the English city from which “Titanic” began its fateful maiden voyage in 1912.

Dean was only 9 weeks old when her family traveled on Titanic in hopes of beginning a new life in the United States. Her father was one of the 1,517 casualties after the supposedly unsinkable ship hit an iceberg in the Atlantic.

DiCaprio, Winslet and Cameron made their combined $30,000 donation after Irish author and photographer Don Mullan publicly challenged them to match his donation, said Ken Sunshine, a spokesman for DiCaprio. Mullan, who photographed Dean for an exhibition, made his appeal last month in the Irish Independent newspaper.

The 1997 drama “Titanic” made more than $1.8 billion at the worldwide box office, making it the highest-grossing film of all time in figures not adjusted for inflation. It went on to win 11 Oscars, including best picture.

Truseau summed it up best, saying “Lucky for us, that $30,000 was only 0.0016% of our take. Dean’s needs aside, it is very expensive to be a rich person, and celebrities can’t afford to be giving their money away. We were lucky this time that there was only one survivor left. We may not be so lucky next time.”

Daytone Beach, Florida authorities said two men called 911 after they were robbed at gunpoint while trying to buy 20 pounds of marijuana.

The Volusia County Sheriff’s Office reported that the men went to a home Monday with $12,000 to buy the drugs. Two men at the home jumped them, took their money and drove off. A report said the victims jumped in their own vehicle to follow and one of them called 911 for help.

The other vehicle got away, but deputies went back to the house, where they arrested a 34-year-old man and charged him with robbery. Authorities are still looking for the other man. It’s not clear if drugs or money were recovered.

A sheriff’s spokesman said charges could follow for the men seeking to buy the drugs, but would probably be dropped as they didn’t get the drugs.

“There is such a thing as ‘honor among thieves,’” Walter Ishton, Deputy Sherriff for Volusia County said, “and we are chartered with upholing the law-even if it among drug dealers. A deal is still a deal, and we will seek justice for the drug buyers-and if not, then the dealer.”

A Rikers Island inmate has been diagnosed with the swine flu after “familial’ visits from elementary school students on “Scared Straight” field trips. The Department of Correction said that the flu had not spread to the entire 13,200 population, and felt that suspending conjugal visits was the best reaction in the short term.

Manuel Juarez, the President of the American Prisoners Union, felt that the action was a “Broad stroke that affects more uninfected than victims.”

The Anna M. Kross facility is being decontaminated while thousands of prisoners across the country are being denied their pre-teen conjugal visits. A class action suit is being compiled by the Kenton Group in New York which will prove that denying pre-pubescent boys to male inmates constitutes cruel and unusual behavior. “We believe our clients have been wronged, “, said Leonard Lottier, counsel at the Kenton Group, “and while money alone can’t be considered a substitute for smooth, virgin flesh, it will certainly help heal the wounds.”

Norman Seebrook, president of the Corrections’Officers Benevolent Association called the class action suit “Outrageous and baseless”, and swore to fight the press rallying that is bringing public opinion against them. “We will continue to do what is right for both elementary school children and prisoners. It is our charter to protect these inmates, not make them happy.”