The Fablieaux

Man Locked Up Once Again After Police Said He Stole A ‘prisoner’ T-shirt From Fresno Jail

A 20-year-old man was locked up once again after being charged with stealing his prisoner T-shirt from a previous stint at the Fresno County Jail. The man was arrested last week on suspicion of child abuse and possession of marijuana. After he was released from jail last Thursday, police said he nearly caused a collision while riding his bike.

Deputies then noticed that he was wearing a T-shirt with “prisoner” printed on the back. Police said the shirt was from the jail and he had concealed it under his clothing when he was released.

Fred Thieser told The Fablieaux, “I had that shirt from San Quentin. The rule is that if you don’t get caught stealing it from the first jail, its yours.” He continued, asserting that “Kids today where these all the time. You gonna lock up any kid with a prison T-shirt on? What’s next? Let everyone into the FBI with one of those caps on? That’s racist, man”.

Thieser was then sent back to jail and booked on felony charges of receiving stolen property.

A German court fined an unemployed man 900 euros ($1,227) Tuesday for knocking the head off a waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler in a Berlin museum.

Minutes after the Madame Tussauds museum opened in the German capital in July, the 42-year-old pushed past security staff and ripped off its head. The man, an ex-policeman, said he found it inexplicable that the Nazi leader would be found only some 500 meters from Berlin’s Holocaust memorial. The man appeared perplexed when he discovered the wax likeness was not Hitler himself.

The waxwork of a glum-looking Hitler in a mock bunker stirred debate in Germany even before it went on display. Critics argued it was tasteless to display a replica of the man who unleashed World War Two and ordered the extermination of Europe’s Jews.

Madame Tussauds said the museum avoided politics, arguing Hitler stood for a significant part of German history and his waxwork therefore had a legitimate part in the exhibition.

The restored figure was returned to the museum in September and is now displayed behind a glass wall.

About 25 workers spent about four months on the original waxwork, using more than 2,000 pictures and pieces of archive material (like that shown here) and also guided by a model of the “Fuehrer” in the London branch of Madame Tussauds.

Ever since 2006, employees of the Old Faithful Inn have supplied Old Faithful with urine. Without the urine, the employees were told by geologists from the University of Wyoming, the geyser won’t erupt every 65 to 92 minutes. Without the geyser, there would be no tourists; Without tourists, they would lose their jobs. The joke apparently got out of hand, and for over 3 years tourists have been treated to eruptions with a little something extra.

Two seasonal Yellowstone National Park concession workers have been fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser. Frank Lowe, one of the employees caught, commented “What is the big deal? This is what we do. We were told to keep peeing into the hole or else the tourists wouldn’t come, and the inn would close.”

Park spokesman Al Nash says a 23-year-old man on Tuesday was fined $750 and placed on three years of unsupervised probation for urinating, being off trail in a restricted area and taking items from the area. The man also was banned from Yellowstone for two years. The second employee’s case is pending.

Lowe was confused at this punishment claiming “How can I be on unsupervised probation and banned from the park at the same time? Does this mean I’m on unsupervised probation at home?”

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Daytone Beach, Florida authorities said two men called 911 after they were robbed at gunpoint while trying to buy 20 pounds of marijuana.

The Volusia County Sheriff’s Office reported that the men went to a home Monday with $12,000 to buy the drugs. Two men at the home jumped them, took their money and drove off. A report said the victims jumped in their own vehicle to follow and one of them called 911 for help.

The other vehicle got away, but deputies went back to the house, where they arrested a 34-year-old man and charged him with robbery. Authorities are still looking for the other man. It’s not clear if drugs or money were recovered.

A sheriff’s spokesman said charges could follow for the men seeking to buy the drugs, but would probably be dropped as they didn’t get the drugs.

“There is such a thing as ‘honor among thieves,’” Walter Ishton, Deputy Sherriff for Volusia County said, “and we are chartered with upholing the law-even if it among drug dealers. A deal is still a deal, and we will seek justice for the drug buyers-and if not, then the dealer.”

“Ignorance Is No Defense” was Rapper T.I.’s thesis as he represented himself. Shown here, the celebrity fought to keep himself out of doing time by claiming that he was “… as ignorant as a hick from Little Rock.”

Clifford J. Harris, Jr. apologized to the media Friday for not having any combination of the initials “T.I.” in his real name. “It was just something I saw on a calculator.”, he claimed.

In a sweet twist of irony, the rapper was sentenced to fill his 12 month term in the state he has drawn so much anger from-Arkansas. “I want to do time where I can get some street cred, chillin’ with my homies in Brooklyn House of Detention, or somethin’ like that.”

Joseph Etma, Honorary Leader of the New York City Wardens Organizations, lamented that “We are in a space crisis here in New York City right now. We desperately need criminals to fill our empty cells. Our wards are nearly empty, and the incarceration of someone with this rapper ‘IT’s celebrity, we could bring the prison population back to where it was in days gone by.”

While it is true that New York’s prison system is facing a financial crunch that seemingly only crime can fix, T.I.’s “posse” sees a chance to “throw two stones at a bird” by teaming with the NYC Prison Guard Union, and keep their matriark from a near certain death at the hands of greasy farmers and immigrants in Arkansas’ correctional system for a full 12 months. “Yo”, spoke T-Bone, T.I.’s left hand man, “Those cheese-heads would get those crackers to look the other and lay my man on the slab faster than greased pig. For real.”

Chief Prosecutor Alan Meenes was unable to contain his disappointment, almost being brought to tears at the sentencing hearing, realizing that the rapper would have been torn apart were he to serve in New York, as he sobbed, “He is a Red Sox fan. A Red Sox fan, damn it.”